Wednesday, March 26, 2008

I'VE GOT A LOVELY BUNCH OF COCONUTS-want some? Darling I love you, but give me Park Avenue!

When we moved to the Keys, one of the little bon mots of the situation appeared to be: NO MORE MOWING GRASS! After being enamored of acres of green at home, the hard reality was you were a slave to your lawn mower. Hours and hours dedicated to keeping the  yard from looking like a forest. Prayers that your tractor wouldn't break down mid-yard, or that you wouldn't get heat stroke or covered with fire ants or bitten by a rattlesnake. Here, no grass! Just pearock on the ground and the house surrounded by swaying palm trees in the breeze.

We didn't bargain on the coconuts. The palm trees are loaded with them. They drop. Frequently. Litter the yard with palm fronds and husks. And then there is the HEAD TRAUMA factor. Those things can kill you. Think concussion, epidural bleed, traumatic brain injury. That will buy you the helicopter ride to Miami fast.

You can't go and spend any time in the yard without worrying if these projectiles will come down upon you. Since the weather is so nice and breezy during the winter, you're a target. Come hurricane season, coconuts become flying projectiles in a stiff wind. The iguanas running through the palm trees don't help either. They loosen them up and..............THUMP! One coconut and its curtains for the dog, too. Not to mention they just pile up and pile up and make the yard look messy. So we enjoy the yard....from the patio. At least we don't get hurt that way. 

So next time you think of paradise: tropical breezes, swaying palm trees and warm sunshine, DON'T FORGET THE COCONUT FACTOR!

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