STUPID MALE OF THE MONTH

EMS brings us a 30-ish female found passed out in a bathroom in a very reputable establishment on Duval St. Incoherent, unable to walk or talk, smelling of alcohol. You might think this was the usual drunken binge, but she was different: clean, well-cared for, manicured nails, jewelry, nicely dressed. Most probably a tourist. We confirmed that when we found her ID: yes, from out of town. We now knew her name, but not much else, since she was in no condition to talk.

We drew a tox screen and a blood alcohol level. Tox was negative and alcohol was over legal limit, but not our usual 300-500 range that our drunks score. Just a clean cut girl from out of town who probably wasn't used to drinking much and had one too many, then passed out in the bathroom. It took about two hours for her to be able to speak to us and give us some information.

First interesting point: She was out with her husband that night. She went to the bathroom and doesn't remember anything afterwards. Usually when the non-frequent flyers end up here, SOMEONE comes looking for them. Sometimes in large groups. Not in this case. We managed to get a cell phone number for her husband and called him.

HE was in a taxi going back to his hotel. HE had continued the bar crawl, unaware or not caring that his wife had stepped into the bathroom and disappeared into a black hole. HE was pissed that she was in the ER, even when told of the circumstances that brought her here. And he continued to berate her for the duration of her stay in the ER about how this put a "damper in the party."

Now realize, these were nice-looking people, probably professionals, judging by the size of the diamond on her finger.

If I disappeared into a public bathroom for any unusual length of time, you can well assure that my husband would probably break the door down to find me. He wouldn't just continue the party, or worse yet, leave the establishment and go on to the next place, or back to the hotel. Call me old-fashioned, but would YOU want to be married to someone who is oblivious and uncaring about the circumstances you may find yourself in? Would you want your significant other to abandon you in a vulnerable state, in a strange town?

I don't GET IT. I find it so wrong on SO MANY LEVELS. Hell, why be married in the first place?


HEY MISTER! YOU'RE A FIRST CLASS JERK! PEOPLE LIKE YOU SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO MARRY, MUCH LESS REPRODUCE!!