Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Beware of KILLER DOGS in unfriendly towns!

This is Bubbles. All five pounds of her. She is small, yappy and has a BIG attitude. She's fiercely devoted to MOMMY (me), hates men (mostly) and very protective. She's also a Houdini who can escape at a moment's notice out any open door, especially if she sees something she finds interesting. I'm almost certain that her eyesight is poor because she barks at the most ridiculous things (shadows, coconuts on the ground, rope) but she is harmless. Her mouth is tiny. Her teeth are tiny. I have to cut up all her food in tiny pieces because she can't chew them very well.

She's never bitten anyone. Really bitten, like in teethmarks, open wounds. But she barks up a storm and is relentlessly IN YOUR FACE (ankles?) if you cross into her territory or get too close to me.

She goes everywhere with me. My choice of hotels is dictated on whether they are pet-friendly. She travels well and likes Dairy Queen, McDonalds and beef jerky on the road. She'll sleep in my lap while I'm driving, or look out the window.

She just went to Miami for the weekend. She accomodated just fine, thank you, once she found my bed and my covers. But I made the mistake of leaving the door open for just one SECOND and POOF!!!........out she ran right into the path of a large male jogger plugged into his IPod.

She ran. She barked!!! he PANICKED!!

It was ridiculously funny to see a big grown man panicked and screaming "It's got teeth!! It's going to BITE ME!!!"

And then my humorous moment turned to rage as he tried to kick the dog.

I went after Bubbles, called her, and she came, while continuing to bark. I yelled at him, "Look at the size of the DOG, you IDIOT!! She can't open her mouth big enough to bite you!!" I tell you, completely panicked!

The only parts of his body that fits in her mouth are his (lack of) manhood.

No one got kicked. Bubbles was safely returned to the comfort of her doggie pillow. Someone had to go change their underwear.

So there.....just another reason never to leave the Keys!


CMe said...

LOL I laughed my butt off at this:

The only parts of his body that fits in her mouth are his (lack of) manhood.

sallysue said...

GRRRRRR but mommy will bite if you touch her baby. I feel the same way about my animals. Stupid jerk.

JS said...

You are not going to like this but think about it. He was honestly scared of your dog, no matter how stupid that seems. He was only defending himself... Don't be to hard on him. Just saying.. JS

JS said...

When are you going to write again? We miss you! JS